Aren't you just going to throw it away anyway?

Author: Suzumiya

"That hair ornament is lovely...! As expected, it's Lady Emuria! Don't you think so too, Willow?"

"...Yes, it's very lovely."

In response to her classmates' question, she ambiguously smiles back. Just now, the same ornament that was praised as lovely is also shining in her own hair. She had been wearing it for five days before Emuria, but no one noticed or praised it until now.

No, that's not it. Emuria was the only one who noticed the beauty of that hair ornament. That's why she's now wearing the same one as me.

"Thank you. Isn't it lovely? It was made by a craftsman who frequents the Radgem estate. Right, Willow?"

"Yes, that's what I've heard... I'm sure."

Emuria smiles very cheerfully at her. I, Willow Radgem, and Emuria Radgem are cousins. Emuria is the daughter of my father's older brother and a marquess. In contrast, I am the daughter of a earl, belonging to a lower rank.

Since our fathers are brothers and we are the same age, we were raised like sisters. We frequently visited each other's mansions, played, studied, and went out together. Now that we attend the academy in the capital, we even share the same townhouse.

Because of these circumstances, Emuria is both my cousin and my best friend. For a noblewoman with few playmates, having such a person was very much appreciated.

But there is one troublesome habit she has. That is, she often imitates me.

From dresses to hairstyles, makeup, hair ornaments, school bags, and even ribbons on our uniforms – everything was imitated.

Even the beautifully delicate glass fountain pen, the leather notebook, and the secretly carried gold pocket watch were all copied.

However, she does it without any ill intentions. On the contrary, she doesn't even realize she's imitating; she thinks she found and acquired them because she liked them.

(I actually don't like it)

After all, I found them first. I brought them home because I liked them.

　However, the recognition of being "lovely" from others comes only after Emuria wears them. There's significant meaning in her wearing them. If I were to claim them first, it would sound like a lie, and people might misunderstand and think I copied her when I wore them as well.

So, whenever Emuria imitates me, I secretly let go of my favorite items. I walked to the edge of the vast academy grounds, to the garbage disposal area, and let out a small sigh.

The hair ornament I just let go of had green stones that closely resembled my eyes subtly embedded in it. It wasn't an expensive item, just a simple design, but I really liked it. I loved it. I actually wanted to keep wearing it.

(Goodbye, I guess) I let out a deep sigh. As I turned on my heel, I froze. One of my classmates—Gael Plantan, the heir to the Plantan Marquisate, was standing right in front of me.

"Gael-sama... Um, what are you doing here?"

Normally, students wouldn't come to this place. Some might not even know that the garbage disposal area is within the academy grounds. So, it's hard to believe that he's here for personal reasons.

I tilted my head in confusion.

"I saw Miss Willow leaving the classroom... I was worried, so I followed you. You didn't seem your usual self."

He said that and smiled gently. I inadvertently slumped my shoulders.

"Eh? Did I look unwell?"

"Yeah. You're always so lively... but seeing you looking down and gloomy, I felt really sorry for you. I wondered where you were going, and I ended up following you."

Gael-sama is known for his strong sense of justice. He couldn't leave someone in trouble alone. However, when he objectively explained my situation like that, it felt really embarrassing and made me feel really uncool.

    My cheeks flushed.

"I'm sorry for causing you concern. I was just coming here to dispose of some things I no longer need."

"Things you no longer need...?"

He tilted his head slightly and picked up the hair ornament I had just discarded.

"This hair ornament? But didn't you just buy this? It doesn't seem broken, and I don't see any reason to throw it away."

"Well, that's true, but..."

In reality, Gael-sama was right; there was no reason to throw it away. It was something I cherished and bought because I liked it. I couldn't help but let out another sigh.

"Oh? Come to think of it, Miss Emuria was wearing the same thing this morning."

"Yes, that's right. That's actually why I'm here. I mean, wouldn't it be unpleasant if we wore the same thing? That's why..."

"But you were the one who wore this hair ornament before her, right?"

"...!"

I was surprised. Gael-sama noticed that I had worn this hair ornament first. Even though no one else knew—when Emuria wore it, it even became "non-existent" in my mind.

"In that case, there's no need to throw it away, right? You like it, don't you?"

"...I dislike it precisely because I like it. I don't want to keep it anymore."

I wouldn't feel this way about something insignificant. It's precisely because I like it that I feel frustrated and want to let it go... It feels like it's been criticized, tainted, and just looking at it makes me feel uneasy. Besides, it looks better on Emuria than on me.

I admit that I have a lot of pride. And I know some people might say, "Wasn't it just a matter of easily letting it go?" but feelings like this are beyond one's control.

"...Has this kind of thing happened before?"

"Yes, quite frequently."

"Have you been coming here each time to dispose of your favorite things?"

"Yeah. The other party is a relative, so I hesitated to dispose of them at home... I mean, who would want to be asked for the reasons, right? That's why I thought if I left them at the academy, items with some value could be sold, and the proceeds might be donated to an orphanage or somewhere. Well, I do feel sorry for inconveniencing the academy, though."

After receiving the hairpin from Gale-sama, I gently return it to the trash bin. The gold craftsmanship and the green gem sparkling in the evening sun make my tears well up.

"That's the reason. Please promise not to tell anyone about this," I pleaded.

Gale-sama nodded, saying, "I understand."

* * *

Thanks to Gale-sama keeping the promise, there were no rumors about me or Emulia.

However, every time I see Emulia's hairpin, my heart sinks. It was supposed to be mine. I loved it so much.

(Stop it. It happens all the time, right?)

Feeling down is a waste of time. At times like this, I must go to the town and find something new to be excited about. After saying goodbye to everyone returning to the dormitory or townhouse after school, I headed alone to the capital city.

The capital city gathers various goods from all over the country.

Delicate colored glassware, beautifully painted ceramics, silk fabrics, dresses made from them, mesmerizing veils and scarves adorned with intricate embroidery, meticulously crafted bags, multicolored dyed papers like book covers, and other charming items fill the place, making one happy just by looking at them.

When I was little, I often got lectured, "Merchants will bring goods to the mansion if you wait," but for me, it's not just about buying things.

I want to find things that make my heart flutter, cherish them, and live surrounded by things I truly love.

It doesn't have to be expensive; it's about genuinely liking them. That's my purpose and policy.

(Although, I usually end up parting with them quickly...)

Sighing, I noticed something that made my heart skip a beat.

A sparkling bracelet displayed in front of a craft shop.

A large green stone emitting an unfamiliar color at its center, surrounded by diamonds?

The rest seemed to be intricately woven with strings.

Elegant, sophisticated, and endlessly fascinating.

(So cute, so cute, so cute!)

It's just as impressive as the items in the jewellery shops—or who cares where it's sold; it's just my taste.

"It's you, Lady Willow. Welcome," the shop owner greeted me. I come here often enough, so he already knows my face and name.

"Sir, this one! It's so, so lovely! Where did you get it from?"

"Do you mean that bracelet? Ah, I thought it would suit Lady Willow! It was purchased from a glass artisan in the Blantain territory."

"A glass artisan? So this is made of glass?"

"Yes, that's correct."

I couldn't help but gasp at the shop owner's words. No wonder it's displayed at a craft shop. I leaned forward.

"I want this! Please!"

"Thank you very much. But... you still don't check the price beforehand, do you? Well, we're happy about it, though."

"Because if I miss buying it, I'll definitely regret it! It's really beautiful! So lovely!"

Being born into a wealthy family wasn't in vain. I know how to handle situations well, and my parents have similar personalities to me, so they won't stop me.

Moreover, when I double-checked, it was surprisingly inexpensive because it's made of glass.

I think it's worth several times more than the price they charge.

"Thank you very much. I will definitely convey your kind words to the craftsmen. They will surely be delighted," said the shop owner, smiling happily.

On the next day, I immediately wore the bracelet and headed to the academy.

(I hope! I hope Emulia doesn't show any interest in it...!)

I made the wish, but I can't do anything about it with my own power. However, not wearing it is not an option either.

After all, my desire is to 'live surrounded by things I like.' There's no point in secretly hiding it in a treasure box and cherishing it without her knowing.

"Good morning, Lady Willow."

"...! Gale-sama, good morning."

As soon as I entered the classroom, Gale-sama called out to me. We weren't that close to begin with, so Emulia and the other young ladies who walked to school together with me looked a little surprised.

"That bracelet is very beautiful. It suits Lady Willow very well."

He pointed to my left arm and smiled.

(Oh...!)

He noticed. He noticed that I bought a new bracelet. Moreover, in front of Emulia and the other young ladies, he spoke about it.

Now, no one would think of copying me, and Emulia wouldn't easily imitate it. My heart warmed with joy.

"Thank you. It's something I really like."

I smiled and touched my arm, and he gently narrowed his eyes.

"Yes, I thought so."

His smile as he said that was genuinely gentle, and I almost cried without anyone noticing.

After that, Gale-sama started immediately commenting whenever I purchased something new.

Cool scarves, bag charms, enamel pen cases, blankets, and everything else.

He also noticed slight changes, like when I slightly trimmed my bangs or changed my perfume.

Even my family members don't notice such things. When I think that Gale-sama cares about me, I feel happy and embarrassed... and then, just a little sorry. If I hadn't shown my dejected self that day, Gale-sama wouldn't have gone through all this trouble.

"Anyway, I don't think of it as trouble."

But one day, when I finally gathered my courage and asked, Gale-sama shook his head with a smile.

"Really? You've been so considerate, and I was worried it might be burdensome for you..."

"Nah, it's just that my eyes naturally go to you, so don't worry about it."

"...Naturally?"

"Yeah. Whenever I realize it, I find myself always looking at Lady Willow. I wonder why?"

Gale-sama said that and smiled with narrowed eyes. I blushed from embarrassment.

(Natural? ... That's such a killer line!)

He seemed unaware himself, but it made my heart race when he said things like that.

(But I guess he doesn't have any special intentions...)

He's just someone who naturally does things that make others happy. It's not because it's me. I know he's strong-willed, can't ignore people in trouble, and is kind to anyone. I know that, but...

(I wish I could be special to Gale-sama.)

I glanced at Gale-sama's profile and he smiled again.

"Emulia hasn't copied you recently, right?"

"Yes. Thanks to you... It seems like she's hesitant to wear things that people recognize I bought."

Emulia really stopped copying me. Thanks to that, I can now live vividly, surrounded by things I truly love.

Also, because Emulia stopped copying me, I realized something.

That is, some of my friends seemed to have noticed Emulia's behavior - or rather, my feelings.

"I was actually aware that Lady Willow had worn that hairpin before. But in that situation, it was difficult to bring it up... After that, you stopped wearing the hairpin, didn't you? I felt somewhat sorry about it."

A few days ago, when I was alone with a certain young lady, she confided in me.

To be honest, I thought no one noticed. No matter how wonderful the item was, it meant nothing if Emulia didn't wear it.

But that wasn't the case. Just knowing that made me really happy.

"It suited you so well, and Emulia-sama is already using a different hairpin... Please wear it again if you can. If anyone says something, I will handle it properly."

In addition, she said that to me, and I felt genuinely happy. But, I had already let go of that hairpin and my other favorite items.

(Now, if only...)

Now that Gale-sama has given me courage, maybe I can wear that hairpin again.

I can assert that I bought it first and really love it. But regretting it now is too late. Despite saying how precious it was, I discarded them all. I thought it was necessary to protect my pride.

I really did something wrong.

「I'm glad you talked to me. Actually, there's something I want to give you, Willow.」

"Something you want to give me?"

He held out his hand. As I touched the cold metal, my heart skipped a beat. Then, as I lowered my gaze, there it was—my favorite hairpin that I had discarded.

"Ah...this?"

"I kept it for you. I thought someday you might want it back. Was I being meddlesome?" Gale gently inquired. I shook my head vigorously.

"No, no! I'm sorry, Gale-sama. I did such a terrible thing..."

"You don't need to apologize."

As he gently stroked my head, my eyes welled up with tears. Gale-sama understood my feelings. He protected my precious belongings.

(I like Gale-sama.)

Looking up at his calm smile, I expressed my gratitude with a heartfelt "Thank you." My heart felt incredibly warm.

＊＊＊

On the eve of the long vacation, there was a party tonight, serving as practice for social events. Men and women were all dressed in freshly pressed dresses and eveningwear, creating a lively atmosphere.

Entering the venue with Emilia and looking around, I noticed that Gale-sama had not arrived yet. I let out a small sigh.

(Tonight, I'll try asking Gale-sama to dance.)

As a woman, it's not exactly praiseworthy to ask a man to dance, but being demure and reserved isn't my style.

I can't just wait around. If I want something, I should reach out and take it.

I selected the most beautiful dress I had and made sure it wouldn't be similar to Emilia's outfit.

I had the maids assist me, subtly incorporating the colors of my hair and eyes. I had no idea how it would appear in Gale-sama's eyes, but it was worth trying.

"Hey... Willow, you seem to be getting along well with Gale," Emilia said, casually bringing it up.

"Really? ...I mean, do you think we get along well?"

In reality, it's all just my one-sided affection. But, I do always follow him with my gaze in class, trying to find the right moment to talk to him.

I feel happy when he talks to me and listens to my ramblings. If that's what being "getting along well" means – then I'm really happy. It makes me believe there might be some possibility for me.

"Are you still planning to dance together tonight?"

"No, not yet. But why do you ask?"

"Well, there have been rumors about potential marriage proposals coming our way, and I thought it's about time we start being mindful of such matters."

"What? Marriage proposals? For us?"

I haven't heard anything from either my father or my mother. Of course, we are noble daughters, and we should consider marriage if necessary, but...

"Congratulations, Emilia-sama! Who's the lucky man?"

"Well, you see..."

Emilia said as she glanced at Gale-sama, who had just entered the venue. Her smile was somewhat mysterious, and the girls around us started to swoon, making my heart feel torn apart.

"I mean, he and I are from the same marquis family, so it's a suitable match, right? And, it seems he has shown an interest in me. I have everything I need with him."

While Emilia was excitedly talking, my heart was sinking.

(Does Gail-sama have any shortcomings? I don't want her to marry him with that kind of feeling.)

Because I like Gale-sama.

I wouldn't accept anyone else.

"Even so, why... Why is it Emulia?

Did he wish to marry Emulia? I couldn't help but lower my gaze.

"Oh, well, Willow was also considered as a candidate. But, Willow is technically a branch family's daughter—an Earl's daughter."

"...... I see."

I can understand Emulia's point. It's natural for the main family's daughter to be prioritized over the branch family's daughter.

So, if the Radgem family received a marriage proposal, it would be natural for them to choose Emulia.

But, even though I understood, my emotions couldn't catch up.

"Moreover, Willow has this bad habit of throwing away things she just bought. Wouldn't it be troublesome if she did the same with her marriage partner? So, I explained that I am more suitable and..."

"Wait—what did you just say?"

"Huh...? Well, you see..."

Emulia hesitated, glancing left and right, then turned on her heels. I didn't let her go—I grabbed her wrist.

"So, you knew 'everything and were imitating me'! You knew that I disliked being imitated by you, and every time you imitated me, you knew I would throw away my favorite things. Is that it?"

Honestly, I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it.

I thought Emulia didn't mean any harm, which is why I endured it so hard until now.

But if it were true, I couldn't forgive her.

"....Well, it's not like you couldn't have kept using it without worrying about being imitated, right? You chose to throw it away, so it's your own fault. Besides, when you bought that, didn't nobody else notice? Blaming it on me is annoying."

"...!"

She's right. What Emulia said is true.

In the end, I lacked the strength to stick to my 'likings,' to say that I had bought it first, to say not to imitate me—to say not to take it away from me.

But, in reality, I didn't want to give up the things I loved. I wanted to say that I got it first. I wanted to tell her not to imitate me—to not take it away from me.

"Now, let's end this conversation. I have nothing to talk about with Willow. Do you think it's appropriate to continue arguing in this glamorous place, disturbing the atmosphere?"

"...!"

I swallowed my words as Emulia's words were right. If we continued arguing here, the people around would perceive me as the one at fault.

Although I felt incredibly angry and frustrated, I knew I should withhold my anger for now. I tightly clenched my fist.

"Besides, I haven't told a single lie. Oh, don't even think about dancing with Gail-sama tonight. Even if you manage to get his attention, you'll just end up throwing it away, right? He's going to be engaged to me—"

"I won't be engaged to you, Emulia."

At that moment, I heard those words from behind. The slightly husky, low voice I loved. As I turned around, I found Gail-sama gently embracing my shoulders..

"Gail-sama! Why..."

"Why? The one who wants to know is me. I didn't seek a connection with the Radgem family. I proposed the engagement because I love you, Wilow. I want to marry you. There's no way I'd be engaged to someone unrelated like her,"

Gail-sama's words made my heart race. Emulia's cheeks turned bright red. Surprised and mocking voices emerged from the surroundings.

"That... I mean! I mean, I am the main family's daughter, and our social status matches, so..."

"True, the Rajem family suggested Emulia, but I made it clear that it wouldn't work, and they already understand the situation,"

Gail-sama said that while looking at me. Unlike the stern words directed at Emulia, he had a warm and gentle expression, and somehow my eyes started to feel teary.

"But! But..."

"Emuria doesn't want to marry me in the first place. She just wanted to have 'me, who gets along well with Willow,' didn't she?" Gale-sama coldly retorted, persistently challenging Emuria.

"Earlier, you said to Willow, 'You'll just abandon him anyway,' but... aren't you the one who can only imitate Willow? How about having your own identity?"

Emuria, at that moment, cast her gaze down on her palm, touched her cheek, looked over her entire body, and then bit her lip. Her dress, makeup, and perfume—everything that constitutes her now—were all things I chose in the past.

"...! ......!"

Emuria couldn't say anything and fled from the evening party venue.

***

"I'm sorry. You were looking forward to the evening party, right?" Gale-sama asked me.

After causing a commotion, we felt reluctant to stay there and decided to leave the venue.

"No... not at all! I was actually happy. I'm glad that you protected me," I replied.

He said what I've always wanted to say to Emuria. It doesn't bring back what was lost, but it feels like I'm picking up the important things I've discarded—like reclaiming my true self.

"But... were there any men you wanted to dance with?" Gale-sama asked repeatedly.

Suddenly, I noticed his face was completely red. He tightened his grip on my hand, and my heart twinged.

"Yes, there was. Tonight, I was planning to ask you to dance with me," I said, trying my best to convey my feelings to Gale-sama.

After widening his eyes slightly, he gently caressed my cheek. His expression and touch were so kind that tears welled up and fell.

"I like you, Willow."

Gale-sama embraced me. I could hear the sound of our two hearts beating. I murmured,

"Yes."

"I've been interested in you for a long time. I thought you were a wonderful woman, always with a strong sense of self, bright, and adorable," Gale-sama confessed, and my heart fluttered sweetly.

Maybe Gale-sama had been watching me long before I fell for him. Is that why he noticed my worries and came to comfort me? If that's the case, I'm really happy.

"I like you too, Gale-sama. I've always wanted to be special to you," I said. He noticed my sadness and stayed by my side.

Not only that, he gave me a new direction in life. How to not let important things be taken away from me. How to protect them and live valuably.

So from now on, I will never let go.

As he taught me, I'll keep showing that "this is mine," "I found it first," and "I love it." I've decided to do that.

"Well then... would you be my partner for a long, long time?"

"Of course! I'll never let you go!"

In response to the question, we declared confidently and burst into laughter.

______________________________

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