C2

 Serious Systemic Defense Theory of Self-Deprecation

Part 1

02

"What?"

Upon receiving the invitation notification on the home screen, I furrowed my eyebrows to the point where I couldn't help but let out a small sound of surprise.

The sender was Rena Falt of Flash of the Ten Realms, commonly known as Rena.

I met Rena in an online game. Not only did our interaction extend beyond the virtual world, but I also guided her through various internet-related matters, as she had little experience using computers other than for research.

Though she called me "senpai" and admired me, our relationship had already lasted five years.

However, my connection with Rena was limited to communicating through the screen. I knew neither her name nor her face, age, voice, and even her gender.

Until now, the idea of meeting in person or having a voice call had never come up.

So receiving a sudden invitation to an offline meetup from Rena left me bewildered.

"What's going on all of a sudden?"

"I'm dealing with some family and future talk. Currently in the middle of evading them."

Her reply came within ten seconds of my calm response.

Though we never delved deeply into personal matters, I strongly sensed that Rena's relationship with her parents was not in a good state. Considering how immersed she was in the internet, it was unlikely her parents would be pleased.

The idea of an offline meetup was one thing, but another problem emerged.

"Aren't you living in Sapporo? Didn't you mention that before?"

I was in Tokyo. There was too much physical distance between us to casually have an offline meetup.

"I dramatically ran away from home."

"You're being too dramatic."

It seemed Rena had solved the distance problem by running away from home.

It wasn't an impulsive act of running away. It was clearly a planned escape. I was astonished because she had never shown any signs of planning something like this before.

"How long have you been planning this?"

"Since yesterday. It's the first time I've ever been on a plane."

"What!?"

　Sapporo to Tokyo. I let out a weird scream at Rena, who had run away from home impulsively and without any planning.

Gami looked puzzled, but she didn't ask what happened. It was time for the bar to open, and she had no time to spare, dealing with signboards and other things.

"You have some serious initiative, don't you?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Do you have any reliable friends you can rely on here?"

Rena was almost like a recluse, and it would be difficult for her to rely on relatives after running away from home. That's why I thought she might have a close and dependable friend here, but...

"As if a parasitic NEET like me would have any friends! Get real!"

It was an artistic outburst of irrational anger.

Hey, hey, hey, wait a minute. Did she really run away without a plan and end up here, on the other side of this plane ride? Alongside the disappointment, I also became worried.

But in the next message, I realized that she did have a plan.

"So, Senpai, how about hiring me as a home security guard?"

Even though she knew my name, face, age, voice, and gender, in reality, I was practically a stranger to her.

"Are you telling me you ran away from home relying on me?"

"Yes. Help me find a place to stay every night."

I couldn't believe it. The confirmation was immediately negated in five seconds.

"Haah..."

Really, this girl...

Even though she calls me Senpai and admires me, I never thought she'd rely on me to that extent.

I don't feel bad about it, but it's just too sudden, and I can't keep up with my feelings.

"That's too brazen, I can't stop laughing. This is an offline meetup with zero participants."

So, to extend the conversation until my feelings calmed down, I tried joking around as usual.

"Is that okay? Actually, I'm a busty high school girl beauty. As a special offer, you get a virgin hymen with me."

"I'm on my way to pick you up."

"You're too quick, Senpai. Seriously, I'm laughing."

Got me!

Instead of extending the conversation, she ended it in one shot. It's no surprise, given our five years of knowing each other. She knows exactly how to engage in a conversation.

"Well... I guess it's fine."

"What a hopeless guy," I inadvertently muttered under my breath.

We had a five-year connection.

Before reuniting with Gami, Rena was the only friend I shared various conversations with and played together.

I found it cute that she admired me as her "senpai," despite my unremarkable life. Of course, not in a weird way.

"Tonight, my Gungnir will spew fire."

"Oh no, oh no. The gates I've guarded for years will finally be breached."

This kind of silly conversation was our usual exchange, a delightful little ritual between friends.

Though we hadn't clarified our ages, I had a rough idea.

Just the other day, she mentioned having an enrolled status at school but not actually attending. Then she ran away from home while talking about future plans, and it was within the distance of a plane ride.

So, Rena was likely a male university student, maybe in the third or fourth year. Even if we assumed she looked younger, she wouldn't be below university age.

Five years since we met. It was more than enough time for a young boy to grow into a young man.

While I thought it was a bit much for her to rely on me like this and run away within a plane's distance, there was no turning back now that she had come. I may not be an impressive adult who can guide her properly, but I felt compelled to offer her a place to stay and lend an ear to her story.

"So, where are you right now?"

She had come all the way here. Perhaps she wandered around Akihabara under the guise of Tokyo sightseeing. Thanks to my bad influence, she might even be stuck in the world of 2D anime.

Though it was a bit far, I wouldn't mind picking her up if it was just that distance.

"I'm actually at the nearest station to Senpai's house."

But she was already here, saying that caught me by surprise.

"I'm currently waiting at a burger joint for just 100 yen. This vessel requests early rendezvous with your vessel."

"You're way too spontaneous. Well, I can pick you up soon."

"I love you, Senpai!"

As someone she relied on, it would have been better if she had consulted with me earlier.

Well, it would have been a dilemma if she had asked me for advice about her runaway situation. But if she had made me feel cornered to the point where I couldn't refuse, I might have to call her a schemer.

So, the two of us discussed our rendezvous point.

It seemed she only had a laptop and no smartphone, so once she was out of range of a wireless LAN-equipped place, we wouldn't be able to communicate.

Meeting up without a smartphone in an unfamiliar place would be challenging. The station area would be crowded during this time, so I was wondering what to do when she sent me a suggestion.

She probably searched the area online in advance. A picture of the meeting place was sent to me.

After checking it, I realized it was just in front of a convenience store about a ten-minute walk from this place. It was away from the crowds, making it a suitable meeting spot.

I was still in my suit, and it might be hard to convey that through text alone. So I sent her a photo of my bag. I felt a bit embarrassed to show my face, so I didn't take a selfie, but this should be enough to identify me.

On the other hand, she couldn't send me a photo since she was using a laptop. Instead, she described herself as, "A busty JK beauty with a red carry bag."

It sounded like a joke, but with the description of a red carry bag, there was no room for misunderstanding.

With that settled, I told Gami, "I'm going to pick up a friend real quick."

"Tama... You had a friend?"

"For fuck's sake."

I asked Gami to hold our seats and went to pick up Rena.

There was a 90% chance that Rena was an adult.

I thought it might be nice to take her to my favorite bar and impress her with my mentor-like attitude.

Even if she was part of the remaining 10%, I was already a reasonably decent and disreputable adult. I didn't mind overlooking her underage drinking a bit.

For five years, we had shared countless conversations and interactions, yet I still didn't know her voice or face. Now that her face would finally be revealed, I couldn't help but feel excited.

What kind of person would she be?

She was a self-proclaimed neet gamer, but she was still enrolled in university. While she lacked planning, she had a dynamic ability to make impulsive decisions, as evident from her runaway. Using me as a reference without asking for advice showed her audacity. She seemed to be quite an influential person.

I considered whether she might have the appearance of a supporter at my workplace, but surprisingly, she could be an attractive individual.

As I fantasized about what she might look like, I finally arrived at the meeting spot in front of the convenience store. When I saw her, she caught my attention instantly.

Her face was youthful, almost like a child. Her jet-black hair had not a single curl and flowed straight down, disappearing inside her clothes. Despite her petite frame, her ample bosom unapologetically declared its maternal presence.

She was the epitome of a busty JK beauty.

Wearing a loose hoodie and pleated culottes, she held a red carry bag in her hand.

"Oh no..."

An inadvertent exclamation slipped out.

Could something like this really happen?

Of course, I didn't think this busty JK beauty was Rena. I was shocked by the fact that Rena's playful words had materialized into our meeting spot.

Restlessly and nervously, she looked like a small animal... no, maybe a girl who brandished big swords and battle axes would be more fitting. In a way, she was a bundle of excitement.

It felt like time stood still for several seconds.

It's not that I had impure intentions, but I noticed a penetrating gaze on me.

Our eyes met with a girl, and in that moment, I realized she had been staring at me.

Without thinking, I averted my gaze, thinking, "This is bad."

In the current times, you never know what could be considered sexual harassment and lead to a report. I definitely didn't want to become a twenty-something guy who gets reported for looking at a high school girl.

As I awkwardly tried to distance myself, I remembered that I had a meeting with Rena here. I couldn't just run away. I hesitated about what to do when I heard a rustling sound getting closer, then it suddenly stopped right in front of me.

"Um...," a busty high school girl spoke to me for some reason.

Didn't she stare at me with a suggestive look? She must know that if I'm reported, it could be a serious matter. No, I didn't do anything wrong; I'm innocent!

These paranoid thoughts raced through my mind, and I felt like shouting.

However, I quickly realized that she didn't approach me because of any incident. Her timid behavior made that evident.

Perhaps she's lost or in some sort of trouble. There's also the matter of her carry bag. Maybe she's visiting relatives or friends from the countryside.

It could be an innocent act of seeking help from an adult who happened to make eye contact.

With a voice as faint as a mosquito's buzz, she asked "Sen...pai?"

Ah, as if I could give her that answer! Having a busty high school girl as my underclassman only existed in my daydreams.

For her to think that I'm her senior, what happened in her mind, and how did she end up with such a misunderstanding? No matter how much I struggle, there's no way an ordinary guy like me could be the senior of a busty high school girl.

That's what I thought, but...

"I-I-I'm Lena... Falt... and you are my senpai," she stammered.

She truly declared that I was the senior of the busty high school girl.

(Note: The one in the phone Rena, all we know she is a girl but the mc doesn't know. In Japanese, there's no need for pronouns. So I just used the 'she' pronoun here, as using a gender neutral pronoun such as 'they' is boring. It's quite funny too, but it's also really crazy. Like, "That guy must be a university's male student. And later he thinks 'She must be a guy…' quite funny right.

Also Gami, was a man who became a woman. So the pronoun used is 'she' since he is a woman now.)

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