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 Chapter 1: Serious Systemic Defense Theory of Self-Deprecation (Part 1)

Currently, I have employed a home security guard at my house.

It wasn't because I put up a notice or had a job opening. Usually, these kinds of things happen through acquaintances, family members, or strangers on the internet when a connection is made.

In my case, both of those circumstances came together.

"Senpai, how about hiring a home security guard?" - out of the blue, one day, I received this message, urging me to hire one.

The person reaching out was a friend I had been interacting with online for five years. I didn't know their name, face, age, or even their gender.

Originally, our connection stemmed from an online game. In the world of online gaming, 100% of players are male; there are no females, absolutely none. You must never expect someone you get along with in an online game to be a beautiful girl or a stunning young lady in real life - that kind of thing just doesn't happen.

So, the home security guard who sent me messages like, "Job well done," from the other side of the screen is, in fact, a well-endowed, high school girl - a secret I could never share with the world.

◆

Let me explain how I ended up hiring a home security guard.

On that day, I finished work peacefully without any overtime.

Friday evenings were the time when I usually had dinner at a standing soba shop inside the train station. It wasn't because I loved soba or because I found cooking at home too bothersome. It was just convenient - cheap, fast, and filling enough.

But why did I need to fill my stomach? There was a profound reason behind it. Not really. It was merely because consuming alcohol on an empty stomach causes a rapid increase in alcohol concentration in the blood.

It would be shameful for someone like me, a seasoned adult who has tasted both the sweet and bitter sides of life, to get drunk in an embarrassing manner. So, taking preventive measures is a matter of proper adult etiquette. That's why I intend to drink a lot tonight.

I already knew which bar I would go to. It was a bar, also known as a BAR.

Entering the familiar bar alone, engaging in witty conversations with the master, and enjoying drinks stylishly - that was my plan. If I spotted a new female customer, I would pretend that she sent me a message from the other side of the bar and strike up a conversation, "Oh, is it from over there?" "Really? Is that okay?" and then lead the conversation with, "Would you like to talk for a while?" - creating the perfect setting for a night of romance.

But in reality, it was nothing like that.

The bar was owned by a childhood friend, and he would serve me drinks at a discount. That's all there was to it. I would pour out my work-related complaints and various embarrassing stories while sipping my drink. That's the reality of my life.

I left my hometown aimlessly right after high school and moved to the city. I ended up with a job somehow, and that's how my life as an ordinary man unfolded.

I managed my relationships with coworkers without making waves, but the truth was that my workplace was a bottom-tier organization. Everyone there was socially awkward, and there were plenty of geeks and nerds. While I never had any illusions about being handsome, my appearance was highly valued by them.

I made sure to dress neatly and maintain a sense of cleanliness, and I reveled in the feeling of superiority. It was an environment where such things mattered greatly.

But no matter how much I stood out among the bottom-tier crowd, I had zero chance of meeting anyone at work. I wasn't actively engaging in social situations where I could meet women. As a result, I never had the opportunity to wield my "Gungnir" alongside a pure Valkyrie.

For someone like me, a mere foot soldier, it was presumptuous to think otherwise. My battlefield was confined to daydreams of valiant Valkyries, and I had become incapable of accepting real women. Moreover, my lack of life experience made it impossible for me to be noticed by them.

With no friends and no girlfriend, what was I living for? What did I look forward to in life?

The answer was the virtual world and the internet.

If I had a passionate interest in these things, it might be understandable. Unfortunately, it was mostly out of habit.

I used to follow over twenty anime series each season, but now I barely follow five. "Oh, it's the same thing again," I would say as I dropped a series after just one episode, and this routine repeated every three months.

On the internet, I indulged in video game playthroughs, outdoor activities, cats, cooking, and even bizarre topics like improving crappy frisbees, among other things. I sampled various items that rose in popularity on rankings.

While doing all this, I maintained a text-only conversation with an unknown friend whom I had been talking to for five years. I cooked a simple dinner that served as both my evening meal and snack, and while having a drink, I would play online games together.

This is what a typical 25-year-old adult man with no prospects looks like..

Until a year ago, my life was seriously going nowhere until I reunited with Gami, who is now the bar's master. Well, to be honest, things haven't improved at all; I've been continuing to live the same unremarkable life.

The solid door that separates the ordinary from the extraordinary. I opened it 30 minutes before the opening time.

"Hey there."

"Oh, you're early today."

I was welcomed by a stunningly beautiful woman. With her model-like slender figure and a cool, dignified face, she looks too young to be called madam or mama, yet she possesses the charm fitting of a grown woman.``

　"It seems like the rain has stopped," she said, offering a welcoming smile that piqued my interest.

She wasn't employed by any of my friends. After all, this bar was solely operated by its master.

Yes, that person was none other than Gami, who, upon turning twenty, underwent a complete body transformation from a handsome man to a beautiful woman.

One year ago, on my way home,

"Oh, could it be Tama?"

I was taken aback when I heard the voice, similar to how one would call a neighborhood cat.

Only Gami, a friend since childhood, would call me 'Tama.' It had been years since we graduated high school, and I had lost all contact with this friend. I never imagined that I'd experience a day where someone would refer to me as a 'freak,' not in a sexually deviant context.

At first, I doubted, but when she showed me old memories and her driver's license, there was no choice but to believe this beautiful woman was indeed Gami.

Of course, the conversation naturally led to questions about why she underwent such a body transformation. Was it because of gender dysphoria, or did she realize she was a woman?

The answer she gave in response to my inquiry was,

"I lived as a man for twenty years, you know. I got bored, so I wanted to try being a woman for a bit."

It seemed she approached her body transformation as casually as changing the gender in a video game.

Gami had always been eccentric, doing bizarre things that involved others, but I never thought she would do something this extreme... Well, she's Gami, so I guess I can't be surprised.

From childhood, I had a strange connection with Gami, never once having different classrooms.

I never expected that she would open a shop at the nearest station to my house and that we'd reunite like this, without any prior arrangement.

I thought all the connections with my friends from high school had been severed, and then this happened. After my emotions settled, I found it rather amusing.

Perhaps Gami also felt it was a twist of fate to have this past connection rolling in front of her. I'm not sure if she felt friendship, but she showed a certain warmth.

She invited me to visit often with a special discounted price for drinks, and since then, I've been coming without any hesitation.

For just a thousand yen, you can get pretty drunk. It's much cheaper than drinking at home.

For Gami, this bar was merely a hobby. She probably didn't even need the money. However, as a friend, this was the result of setting a clear boundary between her and charity.

That's why every Friday, I visit Gami. It became a habit over the past year.

As I sat at the counter, it seemed like the opening preparations were already done.

Despite it being before opening time, Gami moved behind the counter to prepare the first drink—a beer for me.

After taking my position at the designated counter spot, she handed me a wet towel before anything else.

"Thanks."

"Sure, you're welcome."

With that exchange of pleasantries, I began to vent all the petty complaints and ridiculous stories I'd accumulated over the week, spurring me on as I gulped down the first drink.

In that sense, everything up to this point was just an ordinary day.

The news that a new extraordinary door would open came when I had almost finished my second glass.

It wasn't that essential green icon messenger app that every Japanese person uses on their smartphones. No, it was a less popular one that had fallen into obscurity, probably ranking third or so. The smartphone's notification sound chimed due to an app I only had for the sake of one person.

"Senpai, let's meet up offline."

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